<s> QUOTE MY DEAR FELLOW QUOTE SAID SHERLOCK HOLMES AS WE SAT ON EITHER SIDE OF THE FIRE IN HIS LODGINGS AT BAKER STREET QUOTE LIFE IS INFINITELY STRANGER THAN ANYTHING WHICH THE MIND OF MAN COULD INVENT </s><s> WE WOULD NOT DARE TO CONCEIVE THE THINGS WHICH ARE REALLY MERE COMMONPLACES OF EXISTENCE </s><s> IF WE COULD FLY OUT OF THAT WINDOW HAND IN HAND HOVER OVER THIS GREAT CITY GENTLY REMOVE THE ROOFS AND PEEP IN AT THE QUEER THINGS WHICH ARE GOING ON THE STRANGE COINCIDENCES THE PLANNINGS THE CROSS PURPOSES THE WONDERFUL CHAINS OF EVENTS WORKING THROUGH GENERATION AND LEADING TO THE MOST OUTRE RESULTS IT WOULD MAKE ALL FICTION WITH ITS CONVENTIONALITIES AND FORESEEN CONCLUSIONS MOST STALE AND UNPROFITABLE </s><s> AND YET I AM NOT CONVINCED OF IT I ANSWERED </s><s> THE CASES WHICH COME TO LIGHT IN THE PAPERS ARE AS A RULE BALD ENOUGH AND VULGAR ENOUGH </s><s> WE HAVE IN OUR POLICE REPORTS REALISM PUSHED TO ITS EXTREME LIMITS AND YET THE RESULT IS IT MUST BE CONFESSED NEITHER FASCINATING NOR ARTISTIC </s><s> A CERTAIN SELECTION AND DISCRETION MUST BE USED IN PRODUCING A REALISTIC EFFECT REMARKED HOLMES </s><s> QUOTE THIS IS WANTING IN THE POLICE REPORT WHERE MORE STRESS IS LAID PERHAPS UPON THE PLATITUDES OF THE MAGISTRATE THAN UPON THE DETAILS WHICH TO AN OBSERVER CONTAIN THE VITAL ESSENCE OF THE WHOLE MATTER </s><s> DEPEND UPON IT THERE IS NOTHING SO UNNATURAL AS THE COMMONPLACE </s><s> I SMILED AND SHOOK MY HEAD </s><s> I CAN QUITE UNDERSTAND YOUR THINKING SO </s><s> I SAID </s><s> OF COURSE IN YOUR POSITION OF UNOFFICIAL ADVISER AND HELPER TO EVERYBODY WHO IS ABSOLUTELY PUZZLED THROUGHOUT THREE CONTINENTS YOU ARE BROUGHT IN CONTACT WITH ALL THAT IS STRANGE AND BIZARRE </s><s> BUT HERE I PICKED UP THE MORNING PAPER FROM THE GROUND LET US PUT IT TO A PRACTICAL TEST </s><s> HERE IS THE FIRST HEADING UPON WHICH I COME </s><s> A HUSBAND'S CRUELTY TO HIS WIFE </s><s> THERE IS HALF A COLUMN OF PRINT BUT I KNOW WITHOUT READING IT THAT IT IS ALL PERFECTLY FAMILIAR TO ME </s><s> THERE IS. OF COURSE THE OTHER WOMAN THE DRINK THE PUSH THE BLOW THE BRUISE THE SYMPATHETIC SISTER OR LANDLADY </s><s> THE CRUDEST OF WRITERS COULD INVENT NOTHING MORE CRUDE </s><s> QUOTE INDEED YOUR EXAMPLE IS AN UNFORTUNATE ONE FOR YOUR ARGUMENT QUOTE SAID HOLMES TAKING THE PAPER AND GLANCING HIS EYE DOWN IT </s><s> THIS IS THE DUNDAS SEPARATION CASE AND AS IT HAPPENS I WAS ENGAGED IN CLEARING UP SOME SMALL POINTS IN CONNECTION WITH IT </s><s> THE HUSBAND WAS A TEETOTALER THERE WAS NO OTHER WOMAN AND THE CONDUCT COMPLAINED OF WAS THAT HE HAD DRIFTED INTO THE HABIT OF WINDING UP EVERY MEAL BY TAKING OUT HIS FALSE TEETH AND HURLING THEM AT HIS WIFE WHICH YOU WILL ALLOW IS NOT AN ACTION LIKELY TO OCCUR TO THE IMAGINATION OF THE AVERAGE STORY TELLER </s><s> TAKE A PINCH OF SNUFF DOCTOR AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT I HAVE SCORED OVER YOU IN YOUR EXAMPLE </s><s> HE HELD OUT HIS SNUFFBOX OF OLD GOLD WITH A GREAT AMETHYST IN THE CENTRE OF THE LID </s><s> ITS SPLENDOUR WAS IN SUCH CONTRAST TO HIS HOMELY WAYS AND SIMPLE LIFE THAT I COULD NOT HELP COMMENTING UPON IT </s><s> AH SAID HE I FORGOT THAT I HAD NOT SEEN YOU FOR SOME WEEKS </s><s> IT IS A LITTLE SOUVENIR FROM THE KING OF BOHEMIA IN RETURN FOR MY ASSISTANCE IN THE CASE OF THE IRENE ADLER PAPERS </s><s> AND THE RING </s><s> I ASKED GLANCING AT A REMARKABLE BRILLIANT WHICH SPARKLED UPON HIS FINGER </s><s> QUOTE IT WAS FROM THE REIGNING FAMILY OF HOLLAND THOUGH THE MATTER IN WHICH I SERVED THEM WAS OF SUCH DELICACY THAT I CANNOT CONFIDE IT EVEN TO YOU WHO HAVE BEEN GOOD ENOUGH TO CHRONICLE ONE OR TWO OF MY LITTLE PROBLEMS QUOTE </s><s> AND HAVE YOU ANY ON HAND JUST NOW </s><s> I ASKED WITH INTEREST </s><s> SOME TEN OR TWELVE BUT NONE WHICH PRESENT ANY FEATURE OF INTEREST </s><s> THEY ARE IMPORTANT YOU UNDERSTAND WITHOUT BEING INTERESTING </s><s> INDEED I HAVE FOUND THAT IT IS USUALLY IN UNIMPORTANT MATTERS THAT THERE IS A FIELD FOR THE OBSERVATION AND FOR THE QUICK ANALYSIS OF CAUSE AND EFFECT WHICH GIVES THE CHARM TO AN INVESTIGATION </s><s> THE LARGER CRIMES ARE APT TO BE THE SIMPLER FOR THE BIGGER THE CRIME THC MORE OBVIOUS AS A RULE IS THE MOTIVE </s><s> IN THESE CASES SAVE FOR ONE RATHER INTRICATE MATTER WHICH HAS BEEN REFERRED TO ME FROM MARSEILLES THERE IS NOTHING WHICH PRESENTS ANY FEATURES OF INTEREST </s><s> IT IS POSSIBLE HOWEVER THAT I MAY HAVE SOMETHING BETTER BEFORE VERY MANY MINUTES ARE OVER FOR THIS IS ONE OF MY CLIENTS OR I AM MUCH MISTAKEN </s><s> HE HAD RISEN FROM HIS CHAIR AND WAS STANDING BETWEEN THE PARTED BLINDS GAZING DOWN INTO THE DULL NEUTRAL TINTED LONDON STREET </s><s> LOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER I SAW THAT ON THE PAVEMENT OPPOSITE THERE STOOD A LARGE WOMAN WITH A HEAVY FUR BOA ROUND HER NECK AND A LARGE CURLING RED FEATHER IN A BROAD BRIMMED HAT WHICH WAS TILTED IN A COQUETTISH DUCHESS OF DEVONSHIRE FASHION OVER HER EAR </s><s> FROM UNDER THIS GREAT PANOPLY SHE PEEPED UP IN A NERVOUS HESITATING FASHION AT OUR WINDOWS WHILE HER BODY OSCILLATED BACKWARD AND FORWARD AND HER FINGERS FIDGETED WITH HER GLOVE BUTTONS </s><s> SUDDENLY WITH A PLUNGE AS OF THE SWIMMER WHO LEAVES THE BANK SHE HURRIED ACROSS THE ROAD AND WE HEARD THE SHARP CLANG OF THE BELL </s><s> I HAVE SEEN THOSE SYMPTOMS BEFORE SAID HOLMES THROWING HIS CIGARETTE INTO THE FIRE </s><s> OSCILLATION UPON THE PAVEMENT ALWAYS MEANS AN AFFAIRE DE COEUR </s><s> SHE WOULD LIKE ADVICE BUT IS NOT SURE THAT THE MATTER IS NOT TOO DELICATE FOR COMMUNICATION </s><s> AND YET EVEN HERE WE MAY DISCRIMINATE </s><s> WHEN A WOMAN HAS BEEN SERIOUSLY WRONGED BY A MAN SHE NO LONGER OSCILLATES AND THE USUAL SYMPTOM IS A BROKEN BELL WIRE </s><s> HERE WE MAY TAKE IT THAT THERE IS A LOVE MATTER BUT THAT THE MAIDEN IS NOT SO MUCH ANGRY AS PERPLEXED OR GRIEVED </s><s> BUT HERE SHE COMES IN PERSON TO RESOLVE OUR DOUBTS QUOTE </s><s> AS HE SPOKE THERE WAS A TAP AT THE DOOR AND THE BOY IN BUTTONS ENTERED TO ANNOUNCE MISS MARY SUTHERLAND WHILE THE LADY HERSELF LOOMED BEHIND HIS SMALL BLACK FIGURE LIKE A FULL SAILED MERCHANT MAN BEHIND A TINY PILOT BOAT </s><s> SHERLOCK HOLMES WELCOMED HER WITH THE EASY COURTESY FOR WHICH HE WAS REMARKABLE AND HAVING CLOSED THE DOOR AND BOWED HER INTO AN ARMCHAIR HE LOOKED HER OVER IN THE MINUTE AND YET ABSTRACTED FASHION WHICH WAS PECULIAR TO HIM </s><s> DO YOU NOT FIND HE SAID THAT WITH YOUR SHORT SIGHT IT IS A LITTLE TRYING TO DO SO MUCH TYPEWRITING </s><s> I DID AT FIRST SHE ANSWERED BUT NOW I KNOW WHERE THE LETTERS ARE WITHOUT LOOKING </s><s> THEN SUDDENLY REALIZING THE FULL PURPORT OF HIS WORDS SHE GAVE A VIOLENT START AND LOOKED UP WITH FEAR AND ASTONISHMENT UPON HER BROAD GOOD HUMOURED FACE </s><s> YOU'VE HEARD ABOUT ME MR. HOLMES SHE CRIED ELSE HOW COULD YOU KNOW ALL THAT </s><s> NEVER MIND SAID HOLMES LAUGHING IT IS MY BUSINESS TO KNOW THINGS </s><s> PERHAPS I HAVE TRAINED MYSELF TO SEE WHAT OTHERS OVERLOOK </s><s> IF NOT WHY SHOULD YOU COME TO CONSULT ME </s><s> QUOTE I CAME TO YOU SIR BECAUSE I HEARD OF YOU FROM MRS. ETHEREGE WHOSE HUSBAND YOU FOUND SO EASY WHEN THE POLICE AND EVERYONE HAD GIVEN HIM UP FOR DEAD </s><s> OH MR. HOLMES I WISH YOU WOULD DO AS MUCH FOR ME </s><s> I'M NOT RICH BUT STILL I HAVE A HUNDRED A YEAR IN MY OWN RIGHT BESIDES THE LITTLE THAT I MAKE BY THE MACHINE AND I WOULD GIVE IT ALL TO KNOW WHAT HAS BECOME OF MR. HOSMER ANGEL </s><s> WHY DID YOU COME AWAY TO CONSULT ME IN SUCH A HURRY ASKED SHERLOCK HOLMES WITH HIS FINGER TIPS TOGETHER AND HIS EYES TO THE CEILING </s><s> AGAIN A STARTLED LOOK CAME OVER THE SOMEWHAT VACUOUS FACE OF MISS MARY SUTHERLAND </s><s> YES I DID BANG OUT OF THE HOUSE SHE SAID FOR IT MADE ME ANGRY TO SEE THE EASY WAY IN WHICH MR. WINDIBANK THAT IS MY FATHER TOOK IT ALL </s><s> HE WOULD NOT GO TO THE POLICE AND HE WOULD NOT GO TO YOU AND SO AT LAST AS HE WOULD DO NOTHING AND KEPT ON SAYING THAT THERE WAS NO HARM DONE IT MADE ME MAD AND I JUST ON WITH MY THINGS AND CAME RIGHT AWAY TO YOU </s><s> YOUR FATHER SAID HOLMES YOUR STEPFATHER SURELY SINCE THE NAME IS DIFFERENT </s><s> QUOTE YES MY STEPFATHER </s><s> I CALL HIM FATHER THOUGH IT SOUNDS FUNNY TOO FOR HE IS ONLY FIVE YEARS AND TWO MONTHS OLDER THAN MYSELF </s><s> AND YOUR MOTHER IS ALIVE </s><s> OH YES MOTHER IS ALIVE AND WELL </s><s> I WASN'T BEST PLEASED MR. HOLMES WHEN SHE MARRIED AGAIN SO SOON AFTER FATHER'S DEATH AND A MAN WHO WAS NEARLY FIFTEEN YEARS YOUNGER THAN HERSELF </s><s> FATHER WAS A PLUMBER IN THE TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD AND HE LEFT A TIDY BUSINESS BEHIND HIM WHICH MOTHER CARRIED ON WITH MR. HARDY THE FOREMAN BUT WHEN MR. WINDIBANK CAME HE MADE HER SELL THE BUSINESS FOR HE WAS VERY SUPERIOR BEING A TRAVELLER IN WINES </s><s> THEY GOT FOUR THOUSAND SEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS FOR THE GOODWILL AND INTEREST WHICH WASN'T NEAR AS MUCH AS FATHER COULD HAVE GOT IF HE HAD BEEN ALIVE </s><s> I HAD EXPECTED TO SEE SHERLOCK HOLMES IMPATIENT UNDER THIS RAMBLING AND INCONSEQUENTIAL NARRATIVE BUT ON THE CONTRARY HE HAD LISTENED WITH THE GREATEST CONCENTRATION OF ATTENTION </s><s> YOUR OWN LITTLE INCOME HE ASKED DOES IT COME OUT OF THE BUSINESS </s><s> QUOTE OH NO SIR </s><s> IT IS QUITE SEPARATE AND WAS LEFT ME BY MY UNCLE NED IN AUCKLAND </s><s> IT IS IN NEW ZEALAND STOCK PAYING FOUR AND ONE HALF PER CENT </s><s> TWO THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED POUNDS WAS THE AMOUNT BUT I CAN ONLY TOUCH THE INTEREST </s><s> YOU INTEREST ME EXTREMELY SAID HOLMES </s><s> AND SINCE YOU DRAW SO LARGE A SUM AS A HUNDRED A YEAR WITH WHAT YOU EARN INTO THE BARGAIN YOU NO DOUBT TRAVEL A LITTLE AND INDULGE YOURSELF IN EVERY WAY </s><s> I BELIEVE THAT A SINGLE LADY CAN GET ON VERY NICELY UPON AN INCOME OF ABOUT SIXTY POUNDS </s><s> I COULD DO WITH MUCH LESS THAN THAT MR. HOLMES BUT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT AS LONG AS I LIVE AT HOME I DON'T WISH TO BE A BURDEN TO THEM AND SO THEY HAVE THE USE OF THE MONEY JUST WHILE I AM STAYING WITH THEM </s><s> OF COURSE THAT IS ONLY JUST FOR THE TIME </s><s> MR. WINDIBANK DRAWS MY INTEREST EVERY QUARTER AND PAYS IT OVER TO MOTHER AND I FIND THAT I CAN DO PRETTY WELL WITH WHAT I EARN AT TYPEWRITING </s><s> IT BRINGS ME TWOPENCE A SHEET AND I CAN OFTEN DO FROM FIFTEEN TO TWENTY SHEETS IN A DAY QUOTE </s><s> YOU HAVE MADE YOUR POSITION VERY CLEAR TO ME SAID HOLMES </s><s> THIS IS MY FRIEND DOCTOR WATSON BEFORE WHOM YOU CAN SPEAK AS FREELY AS BEFORE MYSELF </s><s> KINDLY TELL US NOW ALL ABOUT YOUR CONNECTION WITH MR. HOSMER ANGEL </s><s> A FLUSH STOLE OVER MISS SUTHERLAND'S FACE AND SHE PICKED NERVOUSLY AT THE FRINGE OF HER JACKET </s><s> I MET HIM FIRST AT THE GASFITTERS' BALL SHE SAID </s><s> THEY USED TO SEND FATHER TICKETS WHEN HE WAS ALIVE AND THEN AFTERWARDS THEY REMEMBERED US AND SENT THEM TO MOTHER </s><s> MR. WINDIBANK DID NOT WISH US TO GO </s><s> HE NEVER DID WISH US TO GO ANYWHERE </s><s> HE WOULD GET QUITE MAD IF I WANTED SO MUCH AS TO JOIN A SUNDAY SCHOOL TREAT </s><s> BUT THIS TIME I WAS SET ON GOING AND I WOULD GO FOR WHAT RIGHT HAD HE TO PREVENT </s><s> HE SAID THE FOLK WERE NOT FIT FOR US TO KNOW WHEN ALL FATHER'S FRIENDS WERE TO BE THERE </s><s> AND HE SAID THAT I HAD NOTHING FIT TO WEAR WHEN I HAD MY PURPLE PLUSH THAT I HAD NEVER SO MUCH AS TAKEN OUT OF THE DRAWER </s><s> AT LAST WHEN NOTHING ELSE WOULD DO HE WENT OFF TO FRANCE UPON THE BUSINESS OF THE FIRM BUT WE WENT MOTHER AND I WITH MR. HARDY WHO USED TO BE OUR FOREMAN AND IT WAS THERE I MET MR. HOSMER ANGEL QUOTE </s><s> I SUPPOSE SAID HOLMES THAT WHEN MR. WINDIBANK CAME BACK FROM FRANCE HE WAS VERY ANNOYED AT YOUR HAVING GONE TO THE BALL </s><s> OH WELL HE WAS VERY GOOD ABOUT IT </s><s> HE LAUGHED I REMEMBER AND SHRUGGED HIS SHOULDERS AND SAID THERE WAS NO USE DENYING ANYTHING TO A WOMAN FOR SHE WOULD HAVE HER WAY </s><s> I SEE </s><s> THEN AT THE GASFITTERS' BALL YOU MET AS I UNDERSTAND A GENTLEMAN CALLED MR. HOSMER ANGEL </s><s> QUOTE YES SIR </s><s> I MET HIM THAT NIGHT AND HE CALLED NEXT DAY TO ASK IF WE HAD GOT HOME ALL SAFE AND AFTER THAT WE MET HIM THAT IS TO SAY MR. HOLMES I MET HIM TWICE FOR WALKS BUT AFTER THAT FATHER CAME BACK AGAIN AND MR. HOSMER ANGEL COULD NOT COME TO THE HOUSE ANY MORE </s><s> NO </s><s> WELL YOU KNOW FATHER DIDN'T LIKE ANYTHING OF THE SORT </s><s> HE WOULDN'T HAVE ANY VISITORS IF HE COULD HELP IT AND HE USED TO SAY THAT A WOMAN SHOULD BE HAPPY IN HER OWN FAMILY CIRCLE </s><s> BUT THEN AS I USED TO SAY TO MOTHER A WOMAN WANTS HER OWN CIRCLE TO BEGIN WITH AND I HAD NOT GOT MINE YET </s><s> BUT HOW ABOUT MR. HOSMER ANGEL </s><s> DID HE MAKE NO ATTEMPT TO SEE YOU QUOTE </s><s> WELL FATHER WAS GOING OFF TO FRANCE AGAIN IN A WEEK AND HOSMER WROTE AND SAID THAT IT WOULD BE SAFER AND BETTER NOT TO SEE EACH OTHER UNTIL HE HAD GONE </s><s> WE COULD WRITE IN THE MEANTIME AND HE USED TO WRITE EVERY DAY </s><s> I TOOK THE LETTERS IN IN THE MORNING SO THERE WAS NO NEED FOR FATHER TO KNOW </s><s> WERE YOU ENGAGED TO THE GENTLEMAN AT THIS TIME </s><s> OH YES MR. HOLMES </s><s> WE WERE ENGAGED AFTER THE FIRST WALK THAT WE TOOK </s><s> HOSMER MR. ANGEL WAS A CASHIER IN AN OFFICE IN LEADENHALL STREET AND </s><s> QUOTE WHAT OFFICE QUOTE </s><s> THAT'S THE WORST OF IT MR. HOLMES I DON'T KNOW </s><s> WHERE DID HE LIVE THEN </s><s> HE SLEPT ON THE PREMISES </s><s> AND YOU DON'T KNOW HIS ADDRESS </s><s> NO EXCEPT THAT IT WAS LEADENHALL STREET </s><s> QUOTE WHERE DID YOU ADDRESS YOUR LETTERS THEN QUOTE </s><s> TO THE LEADENHALL STREET POST OFFICE TO BE LEFT TILL CALLED FOR </s><s> HE SAID THAT IF THEY WERE SENT TO THE OFFICE HE WOULD BE CHAFFED BY ALL THE OTHER CLERKS ABOUT HAVING LETTERS FROM A LADY SO I OFFERED TO TYPEWRITE THEM LIKE HE DID HIS BUT HE WOULDN'T HAVE THAT FOR HE SAID THAT WHEN I WROTE THEM THEY SEEMED TO COME FROM ME BUT WHEN THEY WERE TYPEWRITTEN HE ALWAYS FELT THAT THE MACHINE HAD COME BETWEEN US </s><s> THAT WILL JUST SHOW YOU HOW FOND HE WAS OF ME MR. HOLMES AND THE LITTLE THINGS THAT HE WOULD THINK OF </s><s> IT WAS MOST SUGGESTIVE SAID HOLMES </s><s> IT HAS LONG BEEN AN AXIOM OF MINE THAT THE LITTLE THINGS ARE INFINITELY THE MOST IMPORTANT </s>