<s> THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE OFFICE BUT A COUPLE OF WOODEN CHAIRS AND A DEAL TABLE BEHIND WHICH SAT A SMALL MAN WITH A HEAD THAT WAS EVEN REDDER THAN MINE </s><s> HE SAID A FEW WORDS TO EACH CANDIDATE AS HE CAME UP AND THEN HE ALWAYS MANAGED TO FIND SOME FAULT IN THEM WHICH WOULD DISQUALIFY THEM </s><s> GETTING A VACANCY DID NOT SEEM TO BE SUCH A VERY EASY MATTER AFTER ALL </s><s> HOWEVER WHEN OUR TURN CAME THE LITTLE MAN WAS MUCH MORE FAVOURABLE TO ME THAN TO ANY OF THE OTHERS AND HE CLOSED THE DOOR AS WE ENTERED SO THAT HE MIGHT HAVE A PRIVATE WORD WITH US </s><s> THIS IS MR. JABEZ WILSON SAID MY ASSISTANT AND HE IS WILLING TO FILL A VACANCY IN THE LEAGUE </s><s> QUOTE AND HE IS ADMIRABLY SUITED FOR IT THE OTHER ANSWERED </s><s> HE HAS EVERY REQUIREMENT </s><s> I CANNOT RECALL WHEN I HAVE SEEN ANYTHING SO FINE </s><s> HE TOOK A STEP BACKWARD COCKED HIS HEAD ON ONE SIDE AND GAZED AT MY HAIR UNTIL I FELT QUITE BASHFUL </s><s> THEN SUDDENLY HE PLUNGED FORWARD WRUNG MY HAND AND CONGRATULATED ME WARMLY ON MY SUCCESS </s><s> IT WOULD BE INJUSTICE TO HESITATE SAID HE </s><s> YOU WILL HOWEVER I AM SURE EXCUSE ME FOR TAKING AN OBVIOUS PRECAUTION </s><s> WITH THAT HE SEIZED MY HAIR IN BOTH HIS HANDS AND TUGGED UNTIL I YELLED WITH THE PAIN </s><s> THERE IS WATER IN YOUR EYES SAID HE AS HE RELEASED ME </s><s> I PERCEIVE THAT ALL IS AS IT SHOULD BE </s><s> BUT WE HAVE TO BE CAREFUL FOR WE HAVE TWICE BEEN DECEIVED BY WIGS AND ONCE BY PAINT </s><s> I COULD TELL YOU TALES OF COBBLER'S WAX WHICH WOULD DISGUST YOU WITH HUMAN NATURE </s><s> HE STEPPED OVER TO THE WINDOW AND SHOUTED THROUGH IT AT THE TOP OF HIS VOICE THAT THE VACANCY WAS FILLED </s><s> A GROAN OF DISAPPOINTMENT CAME UP FROM BELOW AND THE FOLK ALL TROOPED AWAY IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS UNTIL THERE WAS NOT A RED HEAD TO BE SEEN EXCEPT MY OWN AND THAT OF THE MANAGER </s><s> MY NAME SAID HE IS MR. DUNCAN ROSS AND I AM MYSELF ONE OF THE PENSIONERS UPON THE FUND LEFT BY OUR NOBLE BENEFACTOR </s><s> ARE YOU A MARRIED MAN MR. WILSON </s><s> HAVE YOU A FAMILY </s><s> I ANSWERED THAT I HAD NOT </s><s> HIS FACE FELL IMMEDIATELY </s><s> DEAR ME HE SAID GRAVELY THAT IS VERY SERIOUS INDEED </s><s> I AM SORRY TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT </s><s> THE FUND WAS OF COURSE FOR THE PROPAGATION AND SPREAD OF THE RED HEADS AS WELL AS FOR THEIR MAINTENANCE </s><s> IT IS EXCEEDINGLY UNFORTUNATE THAT YOU SHOULD BE A BACHELOR </s><s> QUOTE MY FACE LENGTHENED AT THIS MR. HOLMES FOR I THOUGHT THAT I WAS NOT TO HAVE THE VACANCY AFTER ALL BUT AFTER THINKING IT OVER FOR A FEW MINUTES HE SAID THAT IT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT </s><s> IN THE CASE OF ANOTHER SAID HE THE OBJECTION MIGHT BE FATAL BUT WE MUST STRETCH A POINT IN FAVOUR OF A MAN WITH SUCH A HEAD OF HAIR AS YOURS </s><s> WHEN SHALL YOU BE ABLE TO ENTER UPON YOUR NEW DUTIES </s><s> WELL IT IS A LITTLE AWKWARD FOR I HAVE A BUSINESS ALREADY SAID I </s><s> OH NEVER MIND ABOUT THAT MR. WILSON SAID VINCENT SPAULDING </s><s> I SHOULD BE ABLE TO LOOK AFTER THAT FOR YOU </s><s> WHAT WOULD BE THE HOURS </s><s> I ASKED </s><s> TEN TO TWO </s><s> QUOTE NOW A PAWNBROKER'S BUSINESS IS MOSTLY DONE OF AN EVENING MR. HOLMES ESPECIALLY THURSDAY AND FRIDAY EVENING WHICH IS JUST BEFORE PAY DAY SO IT WOULD SUIT ME VERY WELL TO EARN A LITTLE IN THE MORNINGS </s><s> BESIDES I KNEW THAT MY ASSISTANT WAS A GOOD MAN AND THAT HE WOULD SEE TO ANYTHING THAT TURNED UP </s><s> THAT WOULD SUIT ME VERY WELL SAID I. AND THE PAY </s><s> IS FOUR POUNDS A WEEK </s><s> AND THE WORK </s><s> IS PURELY NOMINAL </s><s> WHAT DO YOU CALL PURELY NOMINAL </s><s> QUOTE WELL YOU HAVE TO BE IN THE OFFICE OR AT LEAST IN THE BUILDING THE WHOLE TIME </s><s> IF YOU LEAVE YOU FORFEIT YOUR WHOLE POSITION FOREVER </s><s> THE WILL IS VERY CLEAR UPON THAT POINT </s><s> YOU DON'T COMPLY WITH THE CONDITIONS IF YOU BUDGE FROM THE OFFICE DURING THAT TIME </s><s> IT'S ONLY FOUR HOURS A DAY AND I SHOULD NOT THINK OF LEAVING SAID I </s><s> NO EXCUSE WILL AVAIL SAID MR. DUNCAN ROSS NEITHER SICKNESS NOR BUSINESS NOR ANYTHING ELSE </s><s> THERE YOU MUST STAY OR YOU LOSE YOUR BILLET </s><s> AND THE WORK </s><s> IS TO COPY OUT THE ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA </s><s> THERE IS THE FIRST VOLUME OF IT IN THAT PRESS </s><s> YOU MUST FIND YOUR OWN INK. PENS AND BLOTTING PAPER BUT WE PROVIDE THIS TABLE AND CHAIR </s><s> WILL YOU BE READY TO MORROW </s><s> CERTAINLY I ANSWERED </s><s> QUOTE THEN GOOD BYE MR. JABEZ WILSON AND LET ME CONGRATULATE YOU ONCE MORE ON THE IMPORTANT POSITION WHICH YOU HAVE BEEN FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO GAIN </s><s> HE BOWED ME OUT OF THE ROOM AND I WENT HOME WITH MY ASSISTANT HARDLY KNOWING WHAT TO SAY OR DO I WAS SO PLEASED AT MY OWN GOOD FORTUNE </s><s> WELL I THOUGHT OVER THE MATTER ALL DAY AND BY EVENING I WAS IN LOW SPIRITS AGAIN FOR I HAD QUITE PERSUADED MYSELF THAT THE WHOLE AFFAIR MUST BE SOME GREAT HOAX OR FRAUD THOUGH WHAT ITS OBJECT MIGHT BE I COULD NOT IMAGINE </s><s> IT SEEMED ALTOGETHER PAST BELIEF THAT ANYONE COULD MAKE SUCH A WILL OR THAT THEY WOULD PAY SUCH A SUM FOR DOING ANYTHING SO SIMPLE AS COPYING OUT THE ENCYCLOPEDIA BRITANNICA </s><s> VINCENT SPAULDING DID WHAT HE COULD TO CHEER ME UP BUT BY BEDTIME I HAD REASONED MYSELF OUT OF THE WHOLE THING </s><s> HOWEVER IN THE MORNING I DETERMINED TO HAVE A LOOK AT IT ANYHOW SO I BOUGHT A PENNY BOTTLE OF INK AND WITH A QUILL PEN AND SEVEN SHEETS OF FOOLSCAP PAPER I STARTED OFF FOR POPE'S COURT </s><s> WELL TO MY SURPRISE AND DELIGHT EVERYTHING WAS AS RIGHT AS POSSIBLE </s><s> THE TABLE WAS SET OUT READY FOR ME AND MR. DUNCAN ROSS WAS THERE TO SEE THAT I GOT FAIRLY TO WORK </s><s> HE STARTED ME OFF UPON THE LETTER A AND THEN HE LEFT ME BUT HE WOULD DROP IN FROM TIME TO TIME TO SEE THAT ALL WAS RIGHT WITH ME </s><s> AT TWO O'CLOCK HE BADE ME GOOD DAY COMPLIMENTED ME UPON THE AMOUNT THAT I HAD WRITTEN AND LOCKED THE DOOR OF THE OFFICE AFTER ME </s><s> THIS WENT ON DAY AFTER DAY MR. HOLMES AND ON SATURDAY THE MANAGER CAME IN AND PLANKED DOWN FOUR GOLDEN SOVEREIGNS FOR MY WEEK'S WORK </s><s> IT WAS THE SAME NEXT WEEK AND THE SAME THE WEEK AFTER </s><s> EVERY MORNING I WAS THERE AT TEN AND EVERY AFTERNOON I LEFT AT TWO </s><s> BY DEGREES MR. DUNCAN ROSS TOOK TO COMING IN ONLY ONCE OF A MORNING AND THEN AFTER A TIME HE DID NOT COME IN AT ALL </s><s> STILL OF COURSE I NEVER DARED TO LEAVE THE ROOM FOR AN INSTANT FOR I WAS NOT SURE WHEN HE MIGHT COME AND THE BILLET WAS SUCH A GOOD ONE AND SUITED ME SO WELL THAT I WOULD NOT RISK THE LOSS OF IT </s><s> EIGHT WEEKS PASSED AWAY LIKE THIS AND I HAD WRITTEN ABOUT ABBOTS AND ARCHERY AND ARMOUR AND ARCHITECTURE AND ATTICA AND HOPED WITH DILIGENCE THAT I MIGHT GET ON TO THE B'S BEFORE VERY LONG </s><s> IT COST ME SOMETHING IN FOOLSCAP AND I HAD PRETTY NEARLY FILLED A SHELF WITH MY WRITINGS </s><s> AND THEN SUDDENLY THE WHOLE BUSINESS CAME TO AN END </s><s> QUOTE TO AN END QUOTE </s><s> YES SIR </s><s> AND NO LATER THAN THIS MORNING </s><s> I WENT TO MY WORK AS USUAL AT TEN O'CLOCK BUT THE DOOR WAS SHUT AND LOCKED WITH A LITTLE SQUARE OF CARD BOARD HAMMERED ON TO THE MIDDLE OF THE PANEL WITH A TACK </s><s> HERE IT IS AND YOU CAN READ FOR YOURSELF </s><s> HE HELD UP A PIECE OF WHITE CARD BOARD ABOUT THE SIZE OF A SHEET OF NOTE PAPER </s><s> IT READ IN THIS FASHION THE RED HEADED LEAGUE IS DISSOLVED </s><s> OCTOBER NINTH ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED NINETY </s><s> SHERLOCK HOLMES AND I SURVEYED THIS CURT ANNOUNCEMENT AND THE RUEFUL FACE BEHIND IT UNTIL THE COMICAL SIDE OF THE AFFAIR SO COMPLETELY OVERTOPPED EVERY OTHER CONSIDERATION THAT WE BOTH BURST OUT INTO A ROAR OF LAUGHTER </s><s> I CANNOT SEE THAT THERE IS ANYTHING VERY FUNNY CRIED OUR CLIENT FLUSHING UP TO THE ROOTS OF HIS FLAMING HEAD </s><s> IF YOU CAN DO NOTHING BETTER THAN LAUGH AT ME I CAN GO ELSEWHERE </s><s> NO NO CRIED HOLMES SHOVING HIM BACK INTO THE CHAIR FROM WHICH HE HAD HALF RISEN </s><s> QUOTE I REALLY WOULDN'T MISS YOUR CASE FOR THE WORLD </s><s> IT IS MOST REFRESHINGLY UNUSUAL </s><s> BUT THERE IS IF YOU WILL EXCUSE MY SAYING SO SOMETHING JUST A LITTLE FUNNY ABOUT IT </s><s> PRAY WHAT STEPS DID YOU TAKE WHEN YOU FOUND THE CARD UPON THE DOOR </s><s> I WAS STAGGERED SIR </s><s> I DID NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO </s><s> THEN I CALLED AT THE OFFICES ROUND BUT NONE OF THEM SEEMED TO KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT </s><s> FINALLY I WENT TO THE LANDLORD WHO IS AN ACCOUNTANT LIVING ON THE GROUND FLOOR AND I ASKED HIM IF HE COULD TELL ME WHAT HAD BECOME OF THE RED HEADED LEAGUE </s><s> HE SAID THAT HE HAD NEVER HEARD OF ANY SUCH BODY </s><s> THEN I ASKED HIM WHO MR. DUNCAN ROSS WAS </s><s> HE ANSWERED THAT THE NAME WAS NEW TO HIM </s><s> WELL SAID I THE GENTLEMAN AT NUMBER FOUR </s><s> WHAT THE RED HEADED MAN </s><s> YES </s><s> QUOTE OH SAID HE HIS NAME WAS WILLIAM MORRIS </s><s> HE WAS A SOLICITOR AND WAS USING MY ROOM AS A TEMPORARY CONVENIENCE UNTIL HIS NEW PREMISES WERE READY </s><s> HE MOVED OUT YESTERDAY </s><s> WHERE COULD I FIND HIM </s><s> OH AT HIS NEW OFFICES </s><s> HE DID TELL ME THE ADDRESS </s><s> YES SEVENTEEN KING EDWARD STREET NEAR SAINT PAUL'S </s><s> I STARTED OFF MR. HOLMES BUT WHEN I GOT TO THAT ADDRESS IT WAS A MANUFACTORY OF ARTIFICIAL KNEE CAPS AND NO ONE IN IT HAD EVER HEARD OF EITHER MR. WILLIAM MORRIS OR MR. DUNCAN ROSS </s><s> AND WHAT DID YOU DO THEN ASKED HOLMES </s><s> I WENT HOME TO SAXE COBURG SQUARE AND I TOOK THE ADVICE OF MY ASSISTANT </s><s> BUT HE COULD NOT HELP ME IN ANY WAY </s><s> HE COULD ONLY SAY THAT IF I WAITED I SHOULD HEAR BY POST </s><s> BUT THAT WAS NOT QUITE GOOD ENOUGH MR. HOLMES </s><s> I DID NOT WISH TO LOSE SUCH A PLACE WITHOUT A STRUGGLE SO AS I HAD HEARD THAT YOU WERE GOOD ENOUGH TO GIVE ADVICE TO POOR FOLK WHO WERE IN NEED OF IT I CAME RIGHT AWAY TO YOU QUOTE </s><s> AND YOU DID VERY WISELY SAID HOLMES </s><s> YOUR CASE IS AN EXCEEDINGLY REMARKABLE ONE AND I SHALL BE HAPPY TO LOOK INTO IT </s><s> FROM WHAT YOU HAVE TOLD ME I THINK THAT IT IS POSSIBLE THAT GRAVER ISSUES HANG FROM IT THAN MIGHT AT FIRST SIGHT APPEAR </s><s> GRAVE ENOUGH SAID MR. JABEZ WILSON </s><s> WHY I HAVE LOST FOUR POUND A WEEK </s><s> QUOTE AS FAR AS YOU ARE PERSONALLY CONCERNED QUOTE REMARKED HOLMES QUOTE I DO NOT SEE THAT YOU HAVE ANY GRIEVANCE AGAINST THIS EXTRAORDINARY LEAGUE </s><s> ON THE CONTRARY YOU ARE AS I UNDERSTAND RICHER BY SOME THIRTY POUNDS TO SAY NOTHING OF THE MINUTE KNOWLEDGE WHICH YOU HAVE GAINED ON EVERY SUBJECT WHICH COMES UNDER THE LETTER A. YOU HAVE LOST NOTHING BY THEM </s><s> NO SIR </s><s> BUT I WANT TO FIND OUT ABOUT THEM AND WHO THEY ARE AND WHAT THEIR OBJECT WAS IN PLAYING THIS PRANK IF IT WAS A PRANK UPON ME </s><s> IT WAS A PRETTY EXPENSIVE JOKE FOR THEM FOR IT COST THEM TWO AND THIRTY POUNDS </s><s> WE SHALL ENDEAVOUR TO CLEAR UP THESE POINTS FOR YOU </s><s> AND FIRST ONE OR TWO QUESTIONS MR. WILSON </s><s> THIS ASSISTANT OF YOURS WHO FIRST CALLED YOUR ATTENTION TO THE ADVERTISEMENT HOW LONG HAD HE BEEN WITH YOU </s><s> QUOTE ABOUT A MONTH THEN QUOTE </s><s> HOW DID HE COME </s><s> IN ANSWER TO AN ADVERTISEMENT </s><s> WAS HE THE ONLY APPLICANT </s><s> NO I HAD A DOZEN </s><s> WHY DID YOU PICK HIM </s><s> QUOTE BECAUSE HE WAS HANDY AND WOULD COME CHEAP QUOTE </s><s> AT HALF WAGES IN FACT </s><s> YES </s><s> WHAT IS HE LIKE THIS VINCENT SPAULDING </s><s> SMALL STOUT BUILT VERY QUICK IN HIS WAYS NO HAIR ON HIS FACE THOUGH HE'S NOT SHORT OF THIRTY </s><s> HAS A WHITE SPLASH OF ACID UPON HIS FOREHEAD </s>